Little Lee is growing up...FAST!!!

We received Lincoln's updates last week.  It had been a while because there wasn't one in August.  So, for all the family and friends who wanted updates but couldn't have any, I thought I would list them for you.  Lincoln will turn 9 months this month! :(  He's growing up so fast!!!  And also, it's apparent that he's a real boy-boy!!! (#10)

Well, here is what Lincoln has been up to lately:

1. drinks 200cc milk formula every 4 hours

2. takes 3 spoonful of porridge of meat and vegetable 3 times a day - also takes Gerber baby food, grated apple, watermelon, banana and soft cookies. 

3. pushes around the entire room on his tummies. 

4. sits up briefly if helped to sit - lifts buttocks trying to crawl on knees.

5. grabs toys when offered and transfers from one hand to the other. 

6. sucks fingers. 

7. opens arms when in others’ arms and if asked to come by the foster mother. 

8. bounces up and down when supported and tries to stand holding on to the foster mother’s arms. 

9. looks at picture book attentively. (YAY!!! He's a reader already!!!!)

10. stops to watch when car commercials are on TV. (Can't you believe this?!?!?!  Chris and Lincoln already have this in common.  I can tell that he's a Boy boy!)

11. shakes hands and feet while down when the foster mother sings to him. 

12. plays with feet while lying down. 

13. laughs when plays ‘peek-a-boo.’ 

14. looks to the source of sound.   

15. murmurs something noisily... says “umma” (mommy) when crying.  he sometimes says “appa”, (daddy) too. 

16. puts hands on the bottle and can hold the bottle. 

17. likes when shown food and sways arms in order to be fed quickly. 

18. sleeps from 10:30pm until 7:30am and sleeps well without waking at night. (He's a night owl like Daddy!)

19. takes two naps a day - morning and afternoon for 2 hours each.  he sometimes sleeps longer during the day in quiet environment.  moves a lot when sleeping.  frets a little before sleeping and falls asleep soon if laid beside him and patted.  knows that it is bedtime when dark and quiet.  sleeps with the foster parents all the time.

20. likes to take baths.

21. likes when the foster mother plays and talks face to face and touches his face. 

22. is not really shy with strangers. 

23. looks around here and there with curiosity when taken to new environment.

24. according to the foster mother, he is a clever and lovely child and wins all the love of the foster families and others in the neighborhood. (awwwww!!!!!)

Doesn't it sound like Lincoln's growing up...super fast?!?!?!  He is starting to have a real personality, too.  We hope to meet this guy real soon!!!

Little Lee...Lincoln Lee

I just "published" the story about Happy.  Who knew that last August, I would be adding this next post.  God is truly sovereign!
(Written on July 3, 2012)

Hello Family and Friends,

We have been trying, crying, and waiting for this day to come for almost 10 years.  And God is faithful...He has not forgotten us after all!!!  We are SUPER excited to announce our little Lee, Lincoln Lee!!!  We received our referral yesterday.  He was born on 12/13/11 and is a healthy little boy. He's living with a loving foster family right now.  We believe he's in a great place.  We can't wait to be united with him.

We named him Lincoln in hopes that he will make some lasting impact as President Lincoln did during his lifetime.  We pray that our little Lincoln will grow up to be a man who not only loves the Lord, but His people,  that he will be compassionate and kind to others and stand up for the powerless.  That is our prayer for our child.

Many of you may be wondering WHEN he's coming home.  Well, it's not that simple.  The second phase of paperwork and waiting begins.  We were told that it could take anywhere between 4-8 months.  I know!  Here we go again!  We would be so thankful if we could be allowed to go get him before the end of the year.  Do join us in prayer for our little Lincoln that he continues to grow healthy and that we are united soon.

Thank you for your support through prayers and some of you, financially.  This baby is truly a result of all of our prayers and God's faithfulness.

-Jenn & Chris

p.s.
From our social worker:
"You are more than welcome to share pictures with your family and friends "privately" (e.g. through email). You just can't post anything to a public forum like your facebook or a blog. Please remind family and friends to respect those boundaries as well when you share with them."

I plan to email Lincoln's pictures. But if you don't receive an email from me, that means I don't have your email address.  Please email me at ilovehappy@gmail.com.  Just to reiterate, please do NOT post his pictures on fb or blog.  Don't let us forfeit our baby because of our careless excitement.  Thanks for being understanding!!! :)

A Void in my Heart

(First written on August 30, 2011)
After about a year, now I think I am ready to blog about our greatest tragedy experienced thus far.

On August 14, 2011 around 5:30, our Blessing, a.k.a. Happy passed away.  In order to memorialize Happy, I am choosing to share on my blog.

This is what happened: For about a week, Happy's stool had been soft.  However, we weren't concerned because that had happened before.  Well, on Saturday, he kept having diarrhea.  I started to get a bit worried.  Then Sunday morning around 3 AM, he had vomited several times and there were pink stains on our bedroom floor.  I immediately took him outside.  After awhile, we all fell back to sleep.


Then Sunday morning around 8AM, when I woke up, Happy wasn't in our room anymore.  He had somehow gone downstairs.  When we went down, we discovered many pink stains all over the floor.  There was a trail of blood to every door because he wanted to go outside.  Happy looked terribly dehydrated and weak.  His back legs were covered in blood and matted from dry blood.  Once I let him out, blood was just pouring out.  Then we knew there was a problem.  We quickly wrapped him up in a towel and held him.  He had no energy as he looked completely lethargic.

Around 11AM, we finally got in touch with one of Chris' patient who is a vet.  We brought Happy in and had him examined.  She told us to leave him there for a few hours.  She thought that he would be better after receiving 4 different IVs.  We left him there and went and ran errands.  While we were running errands, the vet called with the bad news.  Apparently, Happy's body temperature was low and even after receiving all the IV, his body temperature dropped even more.  She then proceeded to tell us that she's seen many dogs pass away this way.


You can imagine our ride to the vet.  Neither one of us spoke in the car.  I started crying because I was thinking, 'She couldn't have meant that our Happy was dying!'  We had left him thinking that he had some digestion issues.  He was supposed to receive IV and some antibiotics and get better.  I was hoping and praying for a miracle.  Happy was only 12 years old.

When we arrived back at the vet and saw the doctor, she told us that we basically had two options:  we could take him to emergency room and let the professionals monitor him over night or take him home and we monitor him over night.  Either way, we were to bring him back to her for further testing the next day.  Without any hesitation, we decided that if there was even a slight possibility of his passing, then he would spend his last night with us, not at a hospital with strangers.

She then brought  him out wrapped in the towel we had brought in.  As soon as I saw him, I could not believe this was the same dog we had brought in.  It looked like he was barely holding on to his dear life.  As soon as the doctor left the room, I started wailing uncontrollably.  Happy looked like he was really dying.  We had never seen Happy looking this way.  He could not follow the command "stay" more than 2-3 seconds.  He would follow us everywhere.  And here he was, barely breathing.  If we weren't sure earlier, I had no doubt then;  He would go home with us, no matter what.

Then we headed home.  Chris was driving and I was holding Happy in my arms.  During the drive home, Happy's breathing became very labored.  His breathing was irregular.  It was intensely labored, then hardly breathing that I thought he had died.  Then back to labored breathing and quiet again.  After a few of these cycles, he tried to look up at me.  After the third time, he just dropped his dead, and there was no more movement about him.  He just laid in my arms.  No morning breathing.  Not even labored breathing.  No more movement.  I could not believe it!  He had left us!  Once we realized what had happened, we both started sobbing and wailing uncontrollably.  Our baby was gone!  Our energetic, hyper, territorial, loyal, devoted, unconditionally loving dog was no longer alive!  Happy was dead!
  

Those moments were traumatic.  In one minute, Happy was breathing.  And the next, he was no longer breathing but dead.  A few minutes later, we had arrived at home.  We called our vet back to inform her that Happy had passed.  She was very sorry for us.  But she told us that we had two options: either bury him tonight or bring him back to be cremated.  If I could, I wanted to sleep with him one last time.  However, because of his GI condition, the vet told us that he would start decomposing quickly.  Therefore, we chose cremation, and I decided that we would not keep his ashes because Happy would not be in the ashes.  I believe with all my heart that Happy is with the Lord.  Although it's completely unBiblical, but I believe that God is taking care of Happy now.

We brought Happy back to the vet.  I could not believe how stiff his body had become in half an hour.  By the time we handed him to the vet, he had become so stiff, he looked like taxidermy.  Although the last moment with Happy was tragic, the last image before we handed him over was a pleasant one.  It reminded me of Happy in the car when we would drive with the windows down, he would stick his head out at an angle and enjoy the wind.  As Chris handed Happy over, that's what his face reminded me of.  He was going for a fun ride with me.  He almost looked like he was smiling.

Many of you who have known us for a long time know how important Happy was to us.  He was our family; he was our baby.  Twelve years ago, a friend of my mother-in-law was trying to give away baby chihuahuas.  At that time, I had no desire to own a dog, let alone, a Taco Bell dog!  Reluctantly, I agreed to taking on a dog.  However, the first night I laid my eyes on him, I just fell in love with him.  He became MY dog, and I decided to name him that night.  I wanted to name him something simple and easy.  Of course, I looked in the Bible.  In Matthew chapter 5, in Beatitude, one of the meanings to the word "blessed" is happy.  I named that adorable chihuahua Happy because I prayed that he would be a blessing to us.  I had no idea how prophetic my act of naming Happy would be.

God knew that we would be childless all these years.  However, he wanted us to experience joy and blessing, so He chose to give us something that would love us UNCONDITIONALLY.  Dogs are such special beings.  Regardless of your look, intelligence, race, confidence level, ability, weight, etc., your dog loves you, just because!!!  Whenever we came home, we were greeted by this little 7 pounder with its tail wagging wildly.  Regardless of what type of day we had outside, he was happy that we were home.  I honestly believe that God sends these furry friends to show us UNconditional love.  We don't receive that from our parents, spouse, children, or best friends.  Therefore, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Happy was from the Lord.  Therefore, when He took Happy back, I was not mad at God.

My Last Picture with Happy at Jekyll Island (2011)

One of my all time favorite song called "Blessed Be Your Name," by Matt Redman has a line that says:
"You give and take away
You give and take away
But my heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your Name."

I believe that God gave Happy to us twelve years ago when we weren't even wanting or looking for a dog.  He knew we would need him.  Then suddenly, with no warning, our loving Father took Happy away; He took him back.  Who can understand the mind of the Lord?  In my finite mind, I choose to believe that the Creator of the universe knows what He's doing.  I love the Lord for letting us love and live with Happy for 12 years.  We will never forget him.  He will always have a special place in our hearts.

We miss you, Happy!!!  We LOVE you more than you will ever know!!!

When God...

Andy Stanley started a new sermon series called "When God..." last week.  Today he spoke on this very well-known verse "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Andy expressed how we want God to be made perfect NOT in our weaknesses but in our successes.  Many of us dream about giving credit to God when we receive that award or recognition, or run the bases, or reach the end zone.  When we are in the moment of glory, that's when we want to point to heaven/God and acknowledge His grace and power.  However, "God sometimes chooses to showcase His power on the stage of our weaknesses."(Andy Stanley)

Unfortunately or fortunately, that's my story or many of our stories.  For the years that Chris and I tried to get pregnant, I so desperately and longingly waited for THE day when we could showcase God's power by announcing our pregnancy.  And I would have given Him complete credit.  However, that day never came because He had something else in mind - He chose to use our weakness instead.

While listening to today's sermon, I was reminded of how God's grace has been made sufficient in our weakness in the last year.  About a year ago, I "revealed" my struggle to everyone I knew.  Although most people could have guessed my situation, I humbled myself and became transparent about our infertility.

Since I disclosed our struggle and shared about our adoption decision, I cannot believe all the encouragement I received in one year.  I've been overwhelmed by so many people sharing about their stories.  Some of my friends are adopted themselves.  Some have adopted their children.  Some struggled with infertility for many years before finally becoming pregnant.  I think for a long time I wanted to appear "invincible."  And it wasn't because I was so capable, but because I was simply a Christian.  I wanted the world to know that I was well put-together by the power of God.  However, by sharing my weakness, I truly believe that God was more glorified than in my strength.

I WISH I could say that there is a pretty bow to top off our baby journey, right now!  Regrettably, we are still waiting for our baby.  While waiting to receive our baby, however, I am determined for God to continue to showcase His power in our struggle and imperfect lives.  I will wait well on the Lord.  Even when God seems inattentive, uncooperative, and late, I choose to believe that  He NOT absent and that He is still GOD!