- There are so many children that need a good home, yet the process is so arduous that it can discourage many from actually adopting. The dossier that we must complete reminds me of college application process all over again ~ times 100!!!
- There are so many parents who do not love or even neglect and abuse their children, yet those of us who want just one, have to go through background check after check to ensure that we are not criminals and will not hurt our children. Thank goodness, we don't have any records (that we know of), but what if we did? We might not be able to adopt???
- There are so many waiting children, yet the cost of adoption is so enormously high that unless you take out a loan, most average person would not be able to afford it! Did I mention, you MUST have certain amount of life insurance in order to adopt?!?!
- There are so many teenagers, drug users, criminals, etc. who procreate without thinking twice, however, those of us who want to adopt and are willing to LOVE these children with our own life, must meet at least 8 hours of required training (which also costs $95 per person). I wonder what kind of rigorous training these other moms take before they bring their children into this world...
- There are so many women who have child after child with whomever, living in a cramped space, some in unlivable conditions, yet we must have Home Study where the case worker approves of your house, that your home is in fact safe and habitable for your child. Oh, we were also told to take pictures of our house so they can have a proof in their file!
In spite of these paradoxes, we gladly and eagerly jump through hoops in order to have our child. Am I bitter, resentful about it? Perhaps, a tad bit...very frustrated as well!!! I wish it was easier, or that there was more equity in becoming a parent for all people. However, if it means that I can have a child, I will go through hoop after hoop, as many hoops as I need to! I hope it also means that I will love and cherish this child that much more! :)
Conclusion: I know that God is in control, and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!!! (Philippians 4:13)
Doing all the process at least exempt you when and if you want to adopt the second child? Will keep you guys in prayer!
ReplyDeleteHang in there Jenn - btw, sent that reference within a week - wrote lots of stellar things in there! :) May the L'd provide stellar glimpses of his grace as you jump through those hoops!
ReplyDeleteHi Jenn! Everything you said about negligent, abusive, and unplanned parents is just such a really really sad reality about life. It's one of those things that is really bone-chilling when I think about it.. so many people having babies and/or abortions when they are not ready or willing to be parents, while so many couples spend countless dollars, months, and tears trying desperately to become parents. The only real definite positive thing I can think of is that you will never, ever take your future son or daughter for granted... jumping through all of those hoops will help you to understand just how precious parenthood is, and what a privilege it is to become a parent. Millions of people out there abuse that privilege every day.
ReplyDeleteIt brings tears to my eyes to think that God is preparing your baby for you out there right now...!!! God bless you guys during this process... we'll be following closely as you blog about it!! Our friend is actually flying home from Korea TODAY with their son. They had to wait more than 9 months after they were matched with him, and reading about their journey was so heartbreaking and humbling for me. I think I already sent SJ the link on facebook but here it is for you:
http://chois-r-us.blogspot.com
Happy blogging!!
Thanks, Ladies, for your encouragement. Usually, I can handle it, but it was just one of those days!!!
ReplyDeleteHaejin, I hope that the second time will be a lot easier if we decide to do it. Thanks, Annie, for your reference. I'm sure you made me sound like someone really wonderful!!! :) And Tina, thank you so much for putting into words my sentiment so eloquently. And yes, I started following your friend's blog. It's so EXCITING that they are coming home with their son!!!! That will be us someday!!! Until then continue to keep us in your prayers!
xxooxxoo
Hey Jenn,
ReplyDeleteIf anyone can stand the rigors of this whole process it is you and Sukjoon. I totally agree that the whole process is way too daunting and expensive. Out next door neighbor who is a doctor adopted a little girl from Africa couple of years ago, and says that she can afford to do it again. I wonder how this can all be changed. I am praying for you.