Announcement

I initially wrote this letter for our family and close friends only.  However, after sharing it with that small circle, I decided to be transparent and announce our good news to all our friends.  We were completely taken aback by the overwhelmingly supportive encouragement we've received.  Thank you, family and friends, for your excitement as we await to receive what God has in store for us!

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October 29, 2010
 

Dear Family and Friends,
 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts… (Isaiah 55:8-9)
 

A few weeks ago, Chris and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. How time flies!!! Some of you shared that special, wet day with us 12 years ago as God sent his ”showers” of blessing, abundantly! Regardless of whether you came to our wedding or not, our lives have been richly blessed because we met you and have developed a friendship that is based on faith in our Lord.
 

The last 8-9 years have been very difficult as we unsuccessfully tried time and time again to get pregnant. As many friends started having a family, we became keenly aware of our lack of children. There were countless nights of tears and broken-heart especially with each month’s reminder of “no, not this month either!” I pulled away from many of my friends because their lives revolved around their children, as is natural. I had a hard time listening to these incredible stories about their beautiful children and I could tell that they in turn, had a hard time telling me about those as they were fully aware of my situation. I started calling them less as they got busier with their family.
 

During these years, we did exhaust all our options. We tried InVitro Fertilization (IVF) three cycles. We also tried acupuncture, chiropractic, Asian/herbal medicine (Hahn-yahk), healing/charismatic services, etc., etc. You name it, we tried it! In addition, there were many people praying for us all over the country and Korea and China. I also cajoled, threatened, pleaded, and made deals with God. In spite of all the effort, God’s answer remained unwaveringly, “NO!”
 

I can’t even tell you the number of times I shook my fist at God for not giving us children. I even attempted to turn my back on God and reject my faith altogether. I was desperate! I felt abandoned by my Heavenly Father!!! My head told me otherwise, but my heart ached so bad that I doubted His love for me time and time again. Fortunately, I could not stay mad at God for long. It was IMPOSSIBLE!!!
 

Then our thoughts reluctantly turned to adoption. However, at that time, we just weren’t ready as we were not ready to give up on having at least one biological child, one that resembled us physically! We always thought that we would adopt someday. But according to our plan, it was much later, after we’ve had a few of our own biological children.
 

Now, however, I am thrilled to announce that God has changed both of our hearts and we will be adopting a child from Korea through Bethany Christian Services!!!! In the last couple of years, God has allowed us to see adoption through His eyes. So, we sent in our “formal” application a few weeks ago and had our first interview with a case worker last Thurs. I am so excited, perhaps as any expecting mother would be! We do have one-inch thick dossier to complete now and have to raise about $30,000 somehow. However, if this is how God wants to give us a child, we believe that He will provide the means for us to adopt. Our case worker did tell us that it can take up to 18 months. However, because we are Korean (heritage family) and we don’t have any children, we have a good chance of receiving a child sooner than 18 months.
 

Recently I saw a video on Facebook. It showed a progression of a cell from conception to fully grown child in a mother’s womb. Had I seen that video even a few months ago, I would have wailed out of pity longing for that to happen to me. This time, however, my tears were for entirely different reason. I believed that my child could be growing too, except in someone else’s womb. I began realizing that the child that God is preparing for us could actually be forming or growing right now! That was such a surreal thought. Those of you who are mothers know what it’s like to bear a child that is growing inside of you. I will never experience that. However, to know that my child is growing somewhere albeit in another person’s body was such an incredible realization.
 

Therefore, we started praying for our child that s/he grows healthy and that delivery goes safely and well when the time comes. Although that child is not with me now, s/he will be with us someday. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to view adoption in a completely different way now! I can’t wait till we wrap our hands around our child. We want to show just a fraction of the love that our Lord shows us daily. I can’t wait to teach our child how to pray and sing my favorite hymns, etc. I know that Chris can’t wait to teach/play sports with our child whether it be a girl or boy. There are so many things we are looking forward to doing with our child. We didn’t think this would be possible, but it’s becoming more and more real.
 

God’s ways are definitely not our ways. This was not what we had planned. However, we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that His thoughts are so much better, grander…perfect! We want to ask you to join us in prayer as we prepare and wait to receive our child. We know nothing about raising children, and so we will be calling on some of you for advice. Thank you for your support and love and we pray that we will continue to have fellowship in our loving Father.
We will keep you posted!

Love,
Jenn, a mom-to-be